Tuesday 17 July 2012

Manners matter more than most people realise

For the past few months, I have been discussing the importance of appearances and setting first impressions. What you wear and how you dress sends out invisible messages about yourself, and the people who see you receive these messages and make subconscious judgments.  The people who are aware of this fact present themselves in the way they want people to perceive them, be it professional, stylish, or glamorous. 


Photo via: blackdiamondsky.com
However, even if you look like a million bucks (or these days perhaps a billion dollars), your manner or lack thereof could betray you.  This usually happens when someone opens their mouth to boorishly express themselves or does an action that is plainly uncouth, thereby shattering the illusion of their appearance, like a glamour spell dissipating abruptly. For example, a man wearing a tailored suit enters his BMW limousine, and so I start making reasonably positive judgments, but then he tosses his cigarette out of his window and he is now no better than a dog peeing on the side of a street.

Quite often, I find myself sounding like an old man, and this is probably one of those cases.  We currently live in a time where dress codes have become more and more casual, hence the sense of occasion has started to diminish, but this does not mean etiquette should be eroded too.  Unfortunately, a lot of people forget their manners and a lot of these people forget they are in public spaces.  To my great annoyance, some people will talk really loudly on the phone in the bus or train, others will push their way across queues, or step on my shoes in a crowded place without apologizing.  These sort of actions should be put with transgressions such as smoking in public! 


Perhaps its the faster paced lifestyle that we live in, but far too often people don't say please and thank you enough or excuse me, especially to those who work in the service industry.  No wonder you get bad service.  Having a bit of manners and etiquette will not hurt, in fact it will most certainly help.  People are more likely to give you their attention, their help or service as well as their respect.  This does not mean be a tight arsed sissy, you can be an ice-cold son of a bitch, but be polite about it.  It will make you even more intimidating or charming, depending how you want to present yourself.  Additionally, having manners does not imply you should be a snob about it, as the purpose of being polite is to be more sociable and more accepted by others.  


Therefore, in conclusion to this little rant of mine, be mindful of manners. Watch what you say and how you act in public.  If you are unsure, ask the people close to you or you can ask me :p